A Very Shitty Date

So let me tell you about a date I had couple of months ago. BTW if your queasy or easily offended then you may not want to read this:

I met this guy, lets call him AJ, while walking down the street on the way to school. We chatted for a min and I gave him my number. Other than the fact he was really quiet, everything was cool. We went on a date to the movies and I had actually spent the night at his house once. Then came the night he stayed at my house (insert dramatic music and lighting here).

Okay I'm not lactose intolerant or anything but it does run in my family. So in order to keep my body used to digesting milk, I drink a lot of it. So earlier that day I had two big ass candy bars of MILK chocolate and some VITAMIN D MILK to wash it down. Bad idea!

Anywhoo, everything was fine when he came over. We watched a movie and played the game even had a little sex (he he); still everything was fine. Then all of a sudden my stomach starts to bubble a little....then a lot. But I wouldn't dare take a shit while he was in my house. I would let my inside blow up before I do that. Anyway, imagine my relief when he says he needs to go to the store to buy some looses (loose cigarettes).

So all while he is gone, I take this opportunity to take a shit and get all my farts out. After all that, my stomach stop bubbling and I feel okay. Then he sends me a text letting me know he is outside and to let him in. "Okay, cool. Let me let out this one last fart and I'm good to go", is what I said to myself. I was not good to go. What seem like a harmless little dry fart, turned out to be a super wet one. I, a 19 year old woman, had shitted on myself.

I run to the bathroom to try to clean myself up and wouldn't it be just my luck that some retard had let him in the building and he was knocking on my apartment door. So I don't have a choice but to open it. So I go back into the bathroom and take my panties off and hide them under the sink. I try to clean myself up. TRY.

So the second I go back to sit on the bed with him, he is feeling super frisky. He starts feeling on me and goes to "downtown to grab a bite" (if you catch what I'm pitching). I did the first thing that came to my mind. I jumped up and proceeded to curse him out, saying he was treating me like a hoe and all he wanted to do was fuck me. I kicked him out with a confused look on his face.

Needless to say, he didn't answer any of my apology text messages and I haven't heard from him since......

Send us you bad date stories @ misshopelessromantic@gmail.com