So me and a friend (names not necessary) was talking about the stupid things that guys do or say when tryin to holla. Hopefully a few ppl will learn from this
1. I AM NOT A PROSTITUTE Don't fucking honk at me. That shit is EXTRA disrepectful. Get out of the car and go over and speak. Fella is she aint worth all that, then keep it pushin' Fellas if a girl will walk over to the car after you honk at her she is most likely a whore and while she might not (or maybe she will) ask you to pay for it rite then and there, you probaly pay for it with a trip to Herman Keifer's STD Clinic. Have fun with that. But I digress.......
2. Call at a decent hour This should be a no-brainer but some niggas just dont know. I, like most women, hate to be woken up. After I wrap my hair, feed my kids, feed myself, put them to bed, take a hot shower, watch a little TV (or porn you know whatever floats your boat), get naked, turn on the fan, get under the covers, get into that good almost snoring/drooling sleep we dont want to hear that loud ass ringtone Unless somebody is dying or dead or money is talkin call in the morning. P.S. Do that shit to me and you will, i repeat, you will get cursed out but I digress.......
3. Only because I know I will get those stupid comments such as "that nigga only wanna fuck anyway" or ones like the latter, I will say this HIRE A PROSTITUTE I mean its a reason why its the worlds oldest profession, It works. There are plenty of females who will fuck for the dollar menu or less and they are not hard to find. They even got websites for the shit now. Craigslist, onlinebootycall.com, adultmyspace.com. Dont ask how I know just sharing info but I digress.....
4. Dont ask to come over the day after meeting me. As a matter of fact Dont ask, Let her invite you. As a woman living alone, I have to be selective of who I let know where I live, especially with children in my home. Respect that please but I digress.....
5. This is one that happens all the time. You fella dont seem to get them hint. I will capitalize it just for emphasises purposes IF A GIRL SAYS SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND THEN SHE DOESNT WANT TO TALK TO YOU Do not press the issue. You are wasting her time and yours. Granted she may not actually have a boyfriend but she doesnt want you to be him. Let it go, Back away, Move on, ect. but i digress.....
6. Dont insult a chick if she rejects you "Fine then, bitch" but I was "Hey baby" a second ago. Come on, not only do you get rejected you gotta be a little bitch about it. Even if she is rude to you when you talk to her, walk away. That makes you the bigger person and her a rude bitch
7. Know how to compliment a woman "Damn baby you fine as hell" is not one. "Hi you have a gorgeous smile" is. "Damn you got a fat ass boo" is not one. "Hi that shirt look good on you" is one. Another one that should be a no brainer but i digress
8. If you already have a girl, take yo ass home to her Most REAL women are not interested in being the other woman (notice the REAL part). Sorry go home to wifey but i digress.....
9. Now this one is strickly for entertainment purposes. Do not ask a girl for spare change, then ask her for her number This has actually happen to me before. See, I near in the DMC area, which is the mecca for homeless people. Most of them were let out of the mental hospital back in the 90's when Mayor Archer lowered the standard of what was considered sane. But anyway like I said it happened to me before but I digress....
10. Dont touch me in any way shape or form. Its creepy and I dont know you or where your hands been. Dont do it. At all. But I digress.....11. And last try to get to know the girl a little for her sake and yours. "Hi, whats your name? Whats your number?" is wrong Thats not the way to do it and if you dont have that kind of time then dont holla at her. Maybe compliment her or ask her where she is going or help her with her bags if possible. But I digress..... no wait Im finished
Just thought I help you poor men out here. Take the advice or leave it. Better yet take it.....
1. I AM NOT A PROSTITUTE Don't fucking honk at me. That shit is EXTRA disrepectful. Get out of the car and go over and speak. Fella is she aint worth all that, then keep it pushin' Fellas if a girl will walk over to the car after you honk at her she is most likely a whore and while she might not (or maybe she will) ask you to pay for it rite then and there, you probaly pay for it with a trip to Herman Keifer's STD Clinic. Have fun with that. But I digress.......
2. Call at a decent hour This should be a no-brainer but some niggas just dont know. I, like most women, hate to be woken up. After I wrap my hair, feed my kids, feed myself, put them to bed, take a hot shower, watch a little TV (or porn you know whatever floats your boat), get naked, turn on the fan, get under the covers, get into that good almost snoring/drooling sleep we dont want to hear that loud ass ringtone Unless somebody is dying or dead or money is talkin call in the morning. P.S. Do that shit to me and you will, i repeat, you will get cursed out but I digress.......
3. Only because I know I will get those stupid comments such as "that nigga only wanna fuck anyway" or ones like the latter, I will say this HIRE A PROSTITUTE I mean its a reason why its the worlds oldest profession, It works. There are plenty of females who will fuck for the dollar menu or less and they are not hard to find. They even got websites for the shit now. Craigslist, onlinebootycall.com, adultmyspace.com. Dont ask how I know just sharing info but I digress.....
4. Dont ask to come over the day after meeting me. As a matter of fact Dont ask, Let her invite you. As a woman living alone, I have to be selective of who I let know where I live, especially with children in my home. Respect that please but I digress.....
5. This is one that happens all the time. You fella dont seem to get them hint. I will capitalize it just for emphasises purposes IF A GIRL SAYS SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND THEN SHE DOESNT WANT TO TALK TO YOU Do not press the issue. You are wasting her time and yours. Granted she may not actually have a boyfriend but she doesnt want you to be him. Let it go, Back away, Move on, ect. but i digress.....
6. Dont insult a chick if she rejects you "Fine then, bitch" but I was "Hey baby" a second ago. Come on, not only do you get rejected you gotta be a little bitch about it. Even if she is rude to you when you talk to her, walk away. That makes you the bigger person and her a rude bitch
7. Know how to compliment a woman "Damn baby you fine as hell" is not one. "Hi you have a gorgeous smile" is. "Damn you got a fat ass boo" is not one. "Hi that shirt look good on you" is one. Another one that should be a no brainer but i digress
8. If you already have a girl, take yo ass home to her Most REAL women are not interested in being the other woman (notice the REAL part). Sorry go home to wifey but i digress.....
9. Now this one is strickly for entertainment purposes. Do not ask a girl for spare change, then ask her for her number This has actually happen to me before. See, I near in the DMC area, which is the mecca for homeless people. Most of them were let out of the mental hospital back in the 90's when Mayor Archer lowered the standard of what was considered sane. But anyway like I said it happened to me before but I digress....
10. Dont touch me in any way shape or form. Its creepy and I dont know you or where your hands been. Dont do it. At all. But I digress.....11. And last try to get to know the girl a little for her sake and yours. "Hi, whats your name? Whats your number?" is wrong Thats not the way to do it and if you dont have that kind of time then dont holla at her. Maybe compliment her or ask her where she is going or help her with her bags if possible. But I digress..... no wait Im finished
Just thought I help you poor men out here. Take the advice or leave it. Better yet take it.....
What are some of your Pet Peeves when it comes to men "Holla"ing at you?
BTW look for more Pet Peeves!!!!
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