Recycle or Just Buy a New One

Before I start, I want to thank my first response to my blog, Chanel. You made me feel like my hard work is gonna pay off. Thanx and please keep reading!!!!!

On to the blog:

I've noticed over the years, I often recycle. Not save Earth recycle but I recycle boyfriends. I hardly date new people. For example, Forbidden is BD's childhood friend and I've known him since 9th grade. BF was my bestfriend for 2 years. I dated X-Fiance for a minute, lose contact, then I recycled him.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't think recycling is bad. I just think there are pros and cons to Recycling and just simply "buying a new one".

Recycling: Pros
1) A definite pro to recycling is that you already know this person. When I recycled BF, I already knew everything about him. His likes, his dislikes, his aspirations, his goals, ect. There was an already established trust between us too. There is also already an established timeline. No awkward "what do I where on our first date?" or "I hope she likes this restaurant" moments. And you'll always have things to talk about.

2) If you met or he talked about any of the ex's then you have a complete "What Not To Do Guide". BF had a really bad break up with his bitch of an ex (we'll just call her Bitch) and he told me all about it. So when it came my turn (which never actually happened), I had already had it in my head, I was going to be the complete polar opposite of her.

Recycling: Cons

1) You may know way to much about a person. Somethings are better left in the dark. When I recycled Forbidden, I already knew who he had slept with (which made for an awkward meeting when I spoke to her again) and I knew he still had deep feelings for his ugly X girlfriend (my opinion is, of course, bias). I wished I didn't know that because I constantly dwelled on the fact that she was, somehow in some way, better than me.

2) Pray for a amicable break up. If its not one not only are you losing a lover, your losing a friend. Case in point: BF and I. We went from talking and hanging out all the time, to not even being on a "Hi and Bye" bases.

Just Buy A New One: Pros

1) It can fun getting to know a new person. Being on a whirlwind romance is one of the best feeling in the world. When getting to know a new person, you may find out about things you never knew. Like this guy I dated briefly (we'll call him "K"), introduced me to Moroccan food and I still love it to this day. And he showed me some kinky stuff I didn't know about either. He he he he

2) He's trying to impress you. This can only result in one thing: GIFTS!!! Lol, I'm kidding. But when you first begin to date, he is a gentleman. He opens doors, offers to take you places, you know all the good stuff. And being wined and dined is great, if its only just to hook you. When I was dating this guy "Tone", he was a sweety pie. We hung out constantly, he bought me gifts, paid for dinner, ect. I had fun for the first couple months.

Just Buy A New One: Cons

1)The biggest con would be you don't know this person from the man on the moon. You could be dating a serial killer and not know it. The last thing I need, is to be dating a pedophile who is more interested in my little boy than me. Unless you like Dr. Cal Lightman from Lie to Me (I love that show), its hard to really read a person you just met. I dated a guy named "Frank" while I was in high school. He was a lot older than me (I was being a hot ass) but he was a cool guy and a beast in the sack (except he sucked my nipples to hard. Don't you hate that?).

So I go over a friend's house one day and see him sitting on the couch with a very beautiful woman. Imagine my shock when she introduced her as his wife. Especially since I had skipped school a week ago to be with him in a motel room on Jefferson (a street in Detroit). Needless to say, we didn't talk anymore.

What are some more pro/cons? Do you or have you ever recycle(d)? Tell us some of your Recycling stories. Email me @ mizzhopelessromantic@gmail.com

Best Friend to No Friend: Part 1 The Get Together

So I talked briefly about Best Friend in the "Men in My Life" blog. B.F. and I met my first year of college. It began when he tried to "holla" at me. As we began to talk, we realized we had so much in common and became the best of friends. We hung out constantly. We went to the movies, to concerts and out to eat together but always as friends. He spent nights at my house, in the same bed. We even joked that if neither of us got married by the time we were 30, we would get married and have a loveless marriage.

He was, basically, my male girlfriend. I could talk to him about anything without worrying about him judging me like everyone else. He was always honest with me.

Then one day, something happened. To this day, I'm still not sure how or why our feelings changed. But anyway, his school is like 6 blocks from my house. So when he got out of class he came to visit me. Everything was cool. We played my Wii (I smashed his ass in bowling) and talked for a bit. I know this sound like its straight out of a corny romance movie but when he was about to leave, we hugged and sparks flew. Something about this hug was different than any other time we hugged. This is th acutual conversation between us after that hug. The conversation that started it all.

Me: Wanna hear somethin funny?
BF: From you? No...
Me: Awwwww :(
BF:I'm kidding...it better be funny though!
Me:(Blank) said u and i should make a pact: if neither of us are married by 30 we should get married and have a baby
BF:You'll be married by 30 I think but that is funny...
Me:How u just gon assume i will be the one thats married????? i think it will be YOU thats married
BF:I don't believe in marriage so that's why we might have to have that pact. LOL! You know I hate commitment and ish.
Me:You dont believe in any damn thing jeez And its gon be some big titty girl who gon come and swoop you off yo feet and make u change yo mind (SN. he's a breast man)
BF:She'll be dumped in a month. Big breasts are only good if the girl is quiet!
Me:In that case maybe we should make that pact lol nobody said we would have to love each other and shit and we can have sex once every three months like a real married couple!!!! Wont that be fun???
BF:Yeah it would! Hide the condom would be fun 4 times a year! But anyway I was thinking about you. I had never wanted you so bad when I walked out that door. (SN this is when it all changed)
Me:(insert flavor flav wooooooooooooooow here) wasnt expecting that
BF:I would go over there now just to be with you but you're fine.
Me:Thought u were allergic to me (SN he's also a hypochondriac who thought he was allergic to every thing)
BF:I was allergic to your son.
Me:Thats still not good
BF:I still want you.
BF:I think it's ok now...he's not sick and I haven't broken out yet.
Me:He also hasnt touch u
BF:True...I want you to touch me tonight though. LOL!
Me:we're refraining from sex remember?
BF:I know right...this shit is trash. We might have to take that back tonight.
Me:As much as i'd like to you know we cant go there (SN should have stuck with my first mind)
BF:I know. I can't stop thinking about you though. I'm going to have to suck it up.
Me:Is it because of the booty videos
BF:No...I'm actually starting to like you. For real for real.
Me:Wow really? are u serious?
BF:Yeah but it's scaring me. With you not really wanting to be like that with me. I don't think you want to cross any lines.
Me:Its not like that i just think u need a little time to grow before entering a serious relationship. i love you (blank) but rite now isnt The time. i dont want for us to try this then it goes all wrong and i lose one of my best friends (SN Can I predict the future or what)
BF:Did you just say...that? I don't want a serious relationship but I want you. Sometimes I just want to be next to you. It's not all about sex.
Me:It wiuld really hurt my heart if i lost u and u werent in my life anymore (SN Miss Cleo who? Call me now!!!!)
BF:It would hurt me too but I lose people all the time. I don't know...I don't feel sensitive to others sometimes but when we hugged I felt something. It wasn't just an erection...it was something from you. It was like it was real...
Me:Well i dont want to beone of those ppl that u lose.
BF:Well I don't know what to say really. Reading these words make me want to come back so we can prove how real this is.
Me:Sex (and lets not fool ourselves thats what we would be havin if you came over here tonite) would only complicate things that are already complicated plus i cant do the casual sex thing anymore
BF:I wouldn't come over there to have casual sex with you. I would make love to you.
Me:Lol stop emo boy. but we have sex then what? go on like nothin happened i cant keep doin that
BF:What?! I was actually serious! I wouldn't act like nothing happened. We can always take it slow. We can't fake like we're nothing but friends anymore. There's something else between us now.
Me:just dont want to coMplicate things with sex plus nothin can happen tonite
BF:Things are already complicated. You want us to hold off on something till I'm ready to be with you which means you want us to be together but you want to be sure.
Me:Exactly
BF:I don't think I can do a real long-term relationship. People in my life change along with me. Whenever I made a change in my life I left people behind and then I would have new friends. I just want us to be close but I don't want us to be serious. However, I'm faliing for you. So I might need some time but that doesn't mean that I don't want you physically.
Me:I really care about you. I didn't think you would even be this interested in me.
Me:sorry dozed off for a min but of course i have feelings for you i been had feelings for you even when u was wit (Bitch ex girlfriend) stuff like that doesnt just go away over night
BF:I didn't know what I was thinking. I was trying to salvage something with her. With you, I know you would treat me right. You would always have my back but I feel like I'm not going to be able to give you what you need.
Me:well when u think ur ready im here
BF:I always try to listen to what you want but sometimes I want to just test it out. Even though you don't like to have casual sex but I want to test you out. :p
Me:Lol test me out? Thats the best line u got
BF:I don't talk dirty over the net. LOL!
Me:Glad u dont cuz apparently you arent good at it

So that's the conversation that got this whole thing started. For the next couple of weeks, we were inseparable and we began to develop a relationship. Everything was good until it went bad.

Part 2 is coming

But in the meantime, have you ever started a relationship with a friend? How did it start? How did it end (if it did end)? Email me @ mizzhopelessromantic@gmail.com. Thanx for reading!

A Very Shitty Date

So let me tell you about a date I had couple of months ago. BTW if your queasy or easily offended then you may not want to read this:

I met this guy, lets call him AJ, while walking down the street on the way to school. We chatted for a min and I gave him my number. Other than the fact he was really quiet, everything was cool. We went on a date to the movies and I had actually spent the night at his house once. Then came the night he stayed at my house (insert dramatic music and lighting here).

Okay I'm not lactose intolerant or anything but it does run in my family. So in order to keep my body used to digesting milk, I drink a lot of it. So earlier that day I had two big ass candy bars of MILK chocolate and some VITAMIN D MILK to wash it down. Bad idea!

Anywhoo, everything was fine when he came over. We watched a movie and played the game even had a little sex (he he); still everything was fine. Then all of a sudden my stomach starts to bubble a little....then a lot. But I wouldn't dare take a shit while he was in my house. I would let my inside blow up before I do that. Anyway, imagine my relief when he says he needs to go to the store to buy some looses (loose cigarettes).

So all while he is gone, I take this opportunity to take a shit and get all my farts out. After all that, my stomach stop bubbling and I feel okay. Then he sends me a text letting me know he is outside and to let him in. "Okay, cool. Let me let out this one last fart and I'm good to go", is what I said to myself. I was not good to go. What seem like a harmless little dry fart, turned out to be a super wet one. I, a 19 year old woman, had shitted on myself.

I run to the bathroom to try to clean myself up and wouldn't it be just my luck that some retard had let him in the building and he was knocking on my apartment door. So I don't have a choice but to open it. So I go back into the bathroom and take my panties off and hide them under the sink. I try to clean myself up. TRY.

So the second I go back to sit on the bed with him, he is feeling super frisky. He starts feeling on me and goes to "downtown to grab a bite" (if you catch what I'm pitching). I did the first thing that came to my mind. I jumped up and proceeded to curse him out, saying he was treating me like a hoe and all he wanted to do was fuck me. I kicked him out with a confused look on his face.

Needless to say, he didn't answer any of my apology text messages and I haven't heard from him since......

Send us you bad date stories @ misshopelessromantic@gmail.com

Pet Peeves: "Holla"ing Edition

So me and a friend (names not necessary) was talking about the stupid things that guys do or say when tryin to holla. Hopefully a few ppl will learn from this

1. I AM NOT A PROSTITUTE Don't fucking honk at me. That shit is EXTRA disrepectful. Get out of the car and go over and speak. Fella is she aint worth all that, then keep it pushin' Fellas if a girl will walk over to the car after you honk at her she is most likely a whore and while she might not (or maybe she will) ask you to pay for it rite then and there, you probaly pay for it with a trip to Herman Keifer's STD Clinic. Have fun with that. But I digress.......

2. Call at a decent hour This should be a no-brainer but some niggas just dont know. I, like most women, hate to be woken up. After I wrap my hair, feed my kids, feed myself, put them to bed, take a hot shower, watch a little TV (or porn you know whatever floats your boat), get naked, turn on the fan, get under the covers, get into that good almost snoring/drooling sleep we dont want to hear that loud ass ringtone Unless somebody is dying or dead or money is talkin call in the morning. P.S. Do that shit to me and you will, i repeat, you will get cursed out but I digress.......

3. Only because I know I will get those stupid comments such as "that nigga only wanna fuck anyway" or ones like the latter, I will say this HIRE A PROSTITUTE I mean its a reason why its the worlds oldest profession, It works. There are plenty of females who will fuck for the dollar menu or less and they are not hard to find. They even got websites for the shit now. Craigslist, onlinebootycall.com, adultmyspace.com. Dont ask how I know just sharing info but I digress.....

4. Dont ask to come over the day after meeting me. As a matter of fact Dont ask, Let her invite you. As a woman living alone, I have to be selective of who I let know where I live, especially with children in my home. Respect that please but I digress.....

5. This is one that happens all the time. You fella dont seem to get them hint. I will capitalize it just for emphasises purposes IF A GIRL SAYS SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND THEN SHE DOESNT WANT TO TALK TO YOU Do not press the issue. You are wasting her time and yours. Granted she may not actually have a boyfriend but she doesnt want you to be him. Let it go, Back away, Move on, ect. but i digress.....

6. Dont insult a chick if she rejects you "Fine then, bitch" but I was "Hey baby" a second ago. Come on, not only do you get rejected you gotta be a little bitch about it. Even if she is rude to you when you talk to her, walk away. That makes you the bigger person and her a rude bitch

7. Know how to compliment a woman "Damn baby you fine as hell" is not one. "Hi you have a gorgeous smile" is. "Damn you got a fat ass boo" is not one. "Hi that shirt look good on you" is one. Another one that should be a no brainer but i digress

8. If you already have a girl, take yo ass home to her Most REAL women are not interested in being the other woman (notice the REAL part). Sorry go home to wifey but i digress.....

9. Now this one is strickly for entertainment purposes. Do not ask a girl for spare change, then ask her for her number This has actually happen to me before. See, I near in the DMC area, which is the mecca for homeless people. Most of them were let out of the mental hospital back in the 90's when Mayor Archer lowered the standard of what was considered sane. But anyway like I said it happened to me before but I digress....

10. Dont touch me in any way shape or form. Its creepy and I dont know you or where your hands been. Dont do it. At all. But I digress.....11. And last try to get to know the girl a little for her sake and yours. "Hi, whats your name? Whats your number?" is wrong Thats not the way to do it and if you dont have that kind of time then dont holla at her. Maybe compliment her or ask her where she is going or help her with her bags if possible. But I digress..... no wait Im finished

Just thought I help you poor men out here. Take the advice or leave it. Better yet take it.....

What are some of your Pet Peeves when it comes to men "Holla"ing at you?
BTW look for more Pet Peeves!!!!

The Men in My Life

Okay there are a couple of men in my life who stick out in my mind when I think about my love life. I thought that I should tell you about them. So here goes....

First, of course, would be "Daddy". A girl's first male/female relationship is with her father. With that being said, my dad wasn't much of one. He was the typical dead beat. When he and "Momma" decided to separate after I was born, he separated from my older brother and I too. Growing up, I always knew who my father was but didn't really know my father (if that makes sense). The fact that my dad was a dead beat never really bothered me none or at least that's how it seem to me. But it probably could be a factor in my whole failed love life thing. Anyway, after the birth of my daughter when I was 15, I told my father I was giving him one last chance to be a part of my and his first grandchild's life and if he didn't take it, then he could forget about us for good. Well, to my surprise he stepped up and is a better father and grandfather than I could ever imagine. He has made up for his absence in my life with the presence he has in my children's life and I couldn't be happier. Oh, and by the way, after 16 years of separation, Momma and Daddy have reconciled and renewed their vowels on January 19, 2008. WHAT!!!!!! lol. While everything isn't peachy, its a damn good start.

Second, Mr. Molester. So during Daddy's looooong time of being M.I.A., Mommy had plenty of boyfriends to keep her company (if you get my drift). Seemed like every year she had a new boyfriend. Anywho, Molester is one of the many. Molester sticks out in my mind because Molester was my first boyfriend. In my twisted little 12 year old mind, I thought because he was having sex with me, like he has sex with Momma, then that made him my boyfriend. And up until he stole my beloved black lab puppy (did mention he was a crack head?), I "loved" him. My love didn't run deep back then...... But I've never felt like some victim, never cried about it or anything like that. He feels more like an ex to me as sick as it sounds. Moving along.....

Third, Baby Daddy, B.D. for short. B.D. and I met when we were in 10th grade Algebra. I instantly fell in love with him. Don't ask me why because the fucker is ugly. But, then again Ive never been attracted to "cute" guys. Anywho, B.D. and I were the power couple of our school. Everyone knew about us. They knew when we were together, when we broke up (we did a lot of that), and when were together again. We were so off and on. But "on" enough to have two kids.
B.D. stands out, of course, because we have kids together but also because he was my first real relationship. B.D. and I grew together and really have been through a lot (will blog about that another time). I must admit (don't tell him though) I still love him but not in a "relationship" kind of way; just in a "we have kids" kind of way.

Fourth, X-Fiance. I hate this motherfucker's guts. He was SUPPOSED to be my husband. Wtf was I thinking? Okay I met him one day, when his brother was talking to a chick in my building and I happened to be coming or going. So we started kicking it then stopped for a minute, until I saw his profile on Mocospace. That's when I ruined my life. We started kicking it again and it got pretty serious. Everything was great and he proposed to me the day before my birthday and gave me a cheap ring with DIAMOND CHIPS. But I didn't care I was happy. So when I got these big refund checks from school, I didn't hesitate to spend it all on my future husband. I bought phones, video games, clothes and anything else he asked for. I remember I hate the T-mobile G1 because I bought it for his stupid ass only to have some slut calling it. I had never loved anyone the way I loved X-Fiance and in my head we were really going to get married. He played me HARD. I found out from an itchy vagina that he was cheating on me. And worse, I would watch his son while he was supposed to be as school but was sneaking and fucking his fat baby momma in a car around the corner from my house. Then had the nerve to slap the dog shit out of me, when I confronted him about it. Yea, I still have the whole in my wall where I put his little ass through. Not in my own fucking house, you wont!!!!! Needless to say, I'm still kinda bitter about that.

Fifth, Forbidden Love. I still mess with Forbid to this day. Forbid is B.D.'s childhood friend. For dramatic purposes I refer you to this Notebook by Chrisette Michelle (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YINS57QRAqM). What started as just fuck buddy relationship, developed into something it shouldn't have. We have feeling for each other but the obstacles for us are way too big. The possible drama in relationship isn't worth it. So for now, Forbid and I are secret lovers.

Last, Best friend. Best friend is my most recent heartbreak. Best friend and I were best friends for two years, then we made the grave mistake of taking our relationship further. BF understands me like no other guy. We have the same views on almost everything. I love him, I really do. I was already, set, go with being a relationship with BF until he halted me in my tracks. He explained he was too young for a relationship and me and the kids would tie him down. BF was open and honest with me about how he wasn't ready. He didn't lead me on or take advantage of the venerability I had. Oh and ladies btw, the whole "guys should be honest thing" is all that great. Anyway, BF says he loves me, too but we don't even talk anymore. It really hurts because not only did I lose someone I'm in love with, I lost my best friend. I really miss him.

So those are some of the men in my life. Tell me about yours.
Email me at mizzhopelessromantic@gmail.com
*Toodles*

Hello Allow Me To Intro Myself

Hi, all! Allow me to introduce myself. I am Miss Hopeless Romantic. I'm starting this blog because (simply put) MY LOVE LIFE SUCKS. And with the New Year, I am making the resolution to improve it.

So let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am a 20yo unwedded black female with two children (a walking cliche). I am on my own for the first time and am just trying to figure this thing called life out. Now that I am laid off, Im currently a student at a local community college here in Detroit.

I call myself Miss Hopeless Romantic because I suck at love. I continuously put myself in bad situtions with men and women (I'm bisexual). Im a push over, I can't express myself well, and Im extremely jealous and insecure and have extreme "Daddy issues". These flaws (and the many more that I have) attribute to my failed love life. I know that I am young but I feel alot older than I am and I want to learn to correct these problems so that I can find happiness.

Which brings me to this blog. I created this blog as a therapy (because I am too broke to get a therapist). I want a place to vent and get (and maybe) give advice. So I will be posting stories about myself and my love life. I also hope that you guys would send me stories about your love lives. It will be interesting to have stories about more than myself.

If you would like for me to post a story email me at mizzhopelessromantic@gmail.com. Be as open and honest as you want to be. No story will be rejected so be as real as you wanna be. Oh, and names are not necessary (I can do with out that drama). I will never say my name nor will I say the names of the people in my blogs. I will use code names e.i. I will refer to my self as Hopeless. I expect you guys to do so. And of course no personal info like schools and such.

So to wrap it up; I hope you guys enjoy this blog and please send stories!

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